My secret summer goal…

has been secret all summer because I’m afraid know that if I mention it or talk about how successful I’ve been at it so far, then I’m immediately going to fail.

I’m mentioning this now because I have a feeling that I’m going to fail just before my flight back home on Saturday (and I’m trying to jinx my future failing by calling it now b/c that’s just how my life works). Since I’m flying from Shanghai, my uncle is going to drive me (and his fam) tomorrow (our Tues morn) early to go check out shanghai. It’s a 6-hour drive from Linyi to Shanghai and fortunately, we’re planning on leaving at 7 am because if it was after lunch or something, I would most likely not be able to make the entire trip without having to pee at a rest stop. My plan is to go to sleep at like 230 am so that I’ll be so tired and zonk out for the entire drive there (so only enough eating or drinking to keep me alive til we reach the hotel). My main concern with this plan is that I usually have to pee after I wake up, but hopefully this won’t happen b/c I’ll probly end up taking several short naps instead of sleeping for like 2 hours…

For yous guys who’ve never been to China, I feel like this picture is all you need to know. (no worries, nothing scarring here. if you want to be scarred, google chinese toilets or chinese hole in the ground bathroom). Squat toilets. Hole in the ground. FML I'm so jealous of guys. I could go on forever about everything that I hate about these things, with the extreme of the extreme being (aside from falling) losing my balance and stepping right in the middle of the hole to prevent myself from falling in. I would have to burn off my leg if that happened.

It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already kind of really hate public restrooms. Like, really hate them, especially the ones with tiny stalls with doors that open in (like the airplane). Is there a word for public restroom phobia?

And even if there is a toilet, China has too many people, who knows how many people use the bathroom at the WangFuJing McDonalds in an hour? Plus, not all of them know how to use a toilet, and not all of them are considerate because there are so many people. And nobody here likes to wait in lines. So what many people do (or at least in the past, I wouldn’t know because I’ve pretty much avoided using public restrooms all summer) is that if there is a line for the holes and there’s line for the toilet, they just stand on the toilet and squat, thereby missing the bowl. And you wonder why theres poop on the back of the toilet seat. Well now you know.

And you know how certain images and memories are just going to forever be ingrained in your head until you either die or get Alzeheimers? Well maybe I was really impressionable as a kid during our road trip to Qingdao(? It has to be, I don’t remember any other car trip), but let’s just say that that trip to wherever it was has scarred me forever. There’s a reason why I hate traveling in China—car rides, train rides, buses (all of these are directed at long distance traveling, but going anywhere in china takes hours of preparation in advance). Sigh, no way around it this time. I just had to see the stupid expo and decide to book my tickets from Shanghai instead of Beijing. Now with all my luggage, there’s no way I could go to Shanghai by myself. -_-. STUPID STUPID STUPID ME.

To all my friends who are reading this and are religious, you should pray that I make it without having to pee in a hole. Non-religious people, watch your clocks closely and wish on the clock for me. I’d rather die than have to pee at a rest stop in China.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be many mcdonalds on the road to Shanghai. Or some woods.

Ok, nearing 230 am, time to sleep.

A Pig Eat Pig World

(He insisted on the picture. Yay for balanced diets...)

We were supposed to go to Shanghai today, but since I got a stomach virus yesterday (great timing right? me: -_-, but MLIA. sigh), we pushed back our trip by a day. Instead, I slept for much of the morning/watched Friends =). In the afternoon, my uncle, cousin and I all cut our hair cut (although I’m not really sure why my uncle got his hair cut because he’s kind of losing his hair…if I were him, I’d be afraid that my hair would never grow back after I got it cut…it’d be like Homer Simpson getting his hair cut…)

[completely random side note, but I was talking to the guy cutting my hair and he said that when they learn to cut hair, they don’t even learn guy haircuts. They only learn how to cut hair for women because of all the diff styles because cutting hair for guys is the basic haircut, but it’s harder to cut hair for guys because most of them just have it buzz cut, and when you buzz cut it, it’s easier to notice bumps and uneven spots in their hair, whereas because girls have so much more hair, you don’t have to be as precise. Interesting isn’t it?]

Anyways, right next to where we got our hair cut was this store that sold pork. The store was kind of like Locopops except instead of a simple bare store (cash register, “menu”, and a chair or two) and freezers of only popsicles they had freezer/fridge things for various cuts of meat from the various parts of a pig, with prices ranging from 30 to 150 yuan a pound (about, tech 500 g), and baozis were 30 yuan each, which is ridiculous. For 10 some yuan, you can get a set (TEN) of fresh made pork baozis from the grocery store that taste just like they should. 30 yuan is an unheard of amount to spend on ONE baozi, especially when I thought the baozis we got from Dintaifeng (see Weekend of Top 10’s) for 9 yuan each were already a rip off.

We bought a 600 g of pork @ 120 yuan per half kilo (far left one) and ordered 4 baozis. One for the each of us…who knew pork could be so expensive

On the other hand, you could very easily justify their 30 yuan price. A meal at Mcdonalds (sandwich, small drink and (think small) fries? Haha can’t actually say for sure because I only get ice cream cones at Mcdonalds) is about 22-24 yuan. This on the other hand, is a super huge baozi about the size of a shorter and flatter, but wider big mac, with 200 g (haha I just realized that a 两means 50 g) of meat from a black pig, see:

And for 30 yuan, they give you a few sticks of suantai (maybe its suanmiao--part of the garlic plant), a little bowl of green bean (not sure how to translate this b/c its not congee with green beans in it) congee and a stick of doublemint chewing gum (this was a first…), so it’s kind of like you’re buying a whole meal for yourself.

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you which tasted better because I got a stomach flu Monday and have been on a rather strict diet of bananas, white rice, mantou (I assumed this could be toast?), hard boiled eggs w/soy sauce (not the crap at restaurants—the Chinese kind you cook with) and a couple of little 红豆沙馒头(red bean paste mantou). Raw veggies and fruit are a no, and since anything oily is probly even worse, I’m glad I passed on trying it b/c it probly the fattiest stuffed baozi I’ve ever seen.

Like hugge chunks of fat (which is probly why my everyone else said it tasted so good) and pretty sure no veggies at all b/c usually its pork and cabbage.
You might have to click on the picture to see the large white chunks.

For my cousin, who Mary was soo right about—I knew my cousin reminded me of somebody else! Dudley Dursley! Anyways, my cousin was about as ecstatic as a spoiled fat boy who’s about to be given another 30 yuan baozi can be. The idea of possibly eating two was practically making him drool…it was raining pretty hard on the way home and so my aunt and uncle wanted to check out the new home they bought, to see if the roof leaked…Dudley heard and was like NO, 我馋死了！（pretty much, this im dying to eat this/this craving is killing me!） Seriously, I’ve never thought a name was more appropriate.

I did eat two bowls of the congee that came with it, which was one of the best I’ve had in china this summer. (Note that the number of times I’ve had congee this summer can be counted on a crippled Chinese beggar’s hand. 1. Jindingxuan 2. This place 3. The congee place near my office, which wasn’t bad, but only b/c everything else at that restaurant suckkkedd)

Dudley had 1.76 of these huge baozis, 2 bowls of congee, and I think all the lettuce…you know, to balance out his meal.

So you might be shocked to hear 1.7…what happened to the last 0.3? since when could a fatass like him not finish the last third of a super expensive baozi? Since never, because he actually finished. What happened was that he insisted on eating two the second that he realized that I wasn’t going to eat mine (sometime when we left the store), and his mom was like no, def not, you’re too fat. We get home, and he starts taking huggee bites of the baozi and shoveling it down as fast as he could—I think so he could eat the 2nd one because half way through, he starts reaching for the other box and is asking his mom if he can eat it…(reminds me of how my brother used to lick the bottom of the last mantou even if he still had a full one just so I couldn’t have it…) and his mom tells him no, of course not. You can’t eat that much meat. His mom who was preparing other food, comes over to eat hers (b/c “mine” is in front of me). She takes a small bite (think realizing that she won’t be able to eat such a big fatty baozi) and decides that she’ll compromise with him and tells him that she’ll trade his half eaten one for her practically full one and starts to reach for his. Dudley hears, stiff arms her arm that’s reaching across his body, and leans to the side and shoves down two consecutive bites that are as big as his stuffed mouth will let him. Then before he trades with his mom, he takes a big bite of the one his dad is eating…

So that’s like just over 1.7 because of the small bite she had + the big bite he had. By this time, he had gone to watch TV because he said he was “stuffed to death”.

5 minutes later, he saw that his dad had started eating mine and realized that he wouldn’t be able to eat mine for breakfast tomorrow, so he ran over, grabbed his dad’s arm and shoved another bite in. And that’s how you have 1.76 Big Macs.

Technically this picture was staged. The first time he did it was spontaneous and I wasn’t expecting it and didn’t take a picture of him doing it. Can you see the other chunk of meat that he poured on the table?

Fat Kid on a Rampage

This topic of this post is two-fold—fat kids and schools (completely unnecessary and actually kind of inapprop used but that was for you Mimi, wasn't sure if I'd ever have a chance to use such a toolish word), and there's a kind of long detour before you get to the rampaging. In short, the stereotype that Chinese people are small is false. Still a lot of short people, but you'll need to change that to short pudgy people.

Last year for my HIS 325: China, 1850 to the Present class, I wrote my term paper about gender inequality in China since the Communists officially took power in 1949, and for my research a learned a lot about the impacts of the one-child policy b/c that's been the main cause for the gender balance. I read a lot of stories about sick parents sacrificing their health to save money so that their kid could eat the best food/go out to eat/have the best ___ (or basically held hostage by their kid) so that it wouldn't influence their school work (typical Asians) b/c they only had one kid. Since most families only have one kid, they spoil the kid and never tell them no and the kid grows up a spoiled, selfish, brat, etc. In the same semester, we read a newspaper story in Chinese about how there are more and more "肥胖型儿童" or literally "fat shaped kids" in China.

On average (not considering the peasants who would throw off the avg), I think Chinese people are fatter than Americans. By fatter, I don't mean bigger because I don't think Chinese people will ever come close to weighing more than Americans, but I mean fatter as in flabbier. Everyone here is super flabby and fat because 1. They eat tons of oil (and I'm pretty sure MSG-味精？) and 2. Chinese people just don't exercise. I mean, in their minds, they do because they consider walking exercise. (A family friend lives in a super nice complex where really rich people (Chinese people and foreigners) live w/a really nice gym, and she says that the vast majority of the people she sees at the gym are foreigners.)

Why don't Chinese people exercise? Possible reasons: gyms are expensive/shitty if affordable/space is tight, why have a treadmill?/conserve energy—exercise would just make you hungrier = more money spent on food—I really wouldn't be surprised if this was a reason.

I'd say that for the majority, women don't exercise. Even the girls I played against who were on the 农大(Beijing University of Agriculture and w/e) basketball team were flabby. I wouldn't have believed that they played basketball except for the fact that they were tall. As one leg model on CCTV put it, "I never run or do anything strenuous because it would make my legs get big from building muscle…(How do you get exercise?) I walk." -_-

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For kids through high school, they're the typical Asian. Study, study, study, study. That stereotype is still true.

You remember how every now and then in middle school you'd have that fob in one of your classes who could barely speak English, but was still in your super advanced math class? (which later became non-fob English in high school, but just more obviously genius than all the other Americans. And then in college, how all the internationals seemed to speak math and breeze thru everything written not written in english—and I mean the real internationals. Not the kids who went to an international school in HK/China, but the kids from korea that don't speak to anybody but the other Koreans in Korean and the Chinese grad students who all know each other and speak fob to everybody else.)

Well these people are the reason why there's a stereotype that all Asians are smart. I can tell you first hand tho that this is so not true (take me for example, and my almost 9 yr old cousin). So while I'm telling you that this stereotype is not true, the one about how Asians study all the time is. And even if you aren't studying, you're still studying because you're still in school.

[I interviewed (testing English abilities, at least at the beg…-_-) way too many people for the hotel where our office was, and at the beg, one of the first questions I'd ask was, what do you like to do for fun?—"huh? Hehe, sorry, I don't understand, what do you mean?" One girl had no hotel experience, only experience watching a hotel (like hospital runs?) during her hotel class, so I asked her, "what did you learn when you went out to the hotel to watch?" …(She completely misunderstood)…"I didn't do anything, only study. I never went out…only study".]

Based on my convos w/the guys that I typically ball with, this is what I've learned. Chinese people don't do anything, but study. Summer break is only about 4-6 weeks long depending on what grade you're in and if you're in college/HS; about 7 weeks long, but def not 2 months for elementary schoolers. I think most colleges/HS finish in the 2^nd week of july, around the 10^th or so, give or take a week, and start again aug 16^th or sept 1^st. And if you're gonna be 高三(3^rd year of hs), which is the equiv to a hs senior in the us because you're preparing to apply to colleges, your life pretty much sucks for the next year. But it's a different kind of horrible that 1^st semester of senior year was because even though you don't have to apply to colleges, you have to start school (just after you finished your gaokao prep class) 2 weeks earlier(8/16 this year) than everyone else and then prep all year for the 高考（gaokao）, which pretty much determines your future.

The gaokao is kind of like the SAT, but only b/c they both influence your college options. The gaokao pretty much explains why Chinese people study nonstop. It's administered once in June and lasts for about 3 days, and in those 3 days you take 5 tests, each lasting about 2 hrs each, testing you on EVERYTHING you've ever learned since 1^st grade. You could be the worst student for the last 15 or w/e years, never pay attn, and get horrible grades in school, but still get into the top colleges if you ace the gaokao. Conversely, you could be the stereotypical Chinese (not sure how you can be the stereotypical Chinese when you're in china…maybe its like Mao's ideal Chinese student?), but if you get sick during the gaokao or have headache and start hearing Voldemort's voice in your head and want to pass out, you can't reschedule. You either take it or wait til next year.

If you eff up, you can go to the crappy school your test score qualifies for, or study for another year to prep for it. Although, even if you do well, your life still sucks because you go to college in China. 6 people to a room the size of a Bloomberg single, 14 classes a semester (most classes are once a week but still…WHAT?!), early morning classes (I think 8 am?) and stupid reqs. I've had people tell me they didn't have to take these classes, but the recent grads/current students have all told me that they have to take classes like Maoist Thinking, Marxist Thinking, and Military History…LONG LIVE THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY! (btw, did you know that the CCP wiki page is blocked in china? Yay for VPN…tech, it's actually the Communist Part of China)

Anyways, that's the background of why most Chinese kids are the way they are. Only child + stiff competition + study + Asian "exercise" + Asian parents = spoiled little round children.

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Despite knowing this, I could barely hide my shock when my uncle's family in Linyi picked me up and I saw my previously normal/kinda small sized cousin (who gained 30 lbs in 2 yrs w/o much vertical growth) stampede-waddle over to greet me. Thank god I arrived in Linyi where the whole airport is dimly lit.

[Anybody other than Toni seen Flushed Away? Probly not. Anyways, my cousin reminds me of Sid because he's pretty goofy (hopefully you don't need my help to pick which one...), but with a temper and more entitled attitude.]

His mom is concerned about his huge and sudden weight gain, but she can't prevent him from eating something partially because he's got the worst temper i've ever seen and he's also kind of bigger than her. He's not that tall (or taller/heavier than her), but 90 lbs on a kid who's like 4' 5" is like a concrete column. He even told me himself yesterday that he's not afraid of his mom because she's smaller than him. Combine that with the fat kid syndrome where he has to eat 3 of everything and you get somebody who yells instinctively when he doesn't get it

his way, or possibly even more pathetically, when somebody tries to stop him from dumping the whole bag of chocolate crackers into the box before we've even left the grocery store…

I don't know if I'm more appalled or disgusted by the fact that his fat fingers couldn't open the bottle of green apple flavored Miranda soda.

I'm seriously worried about this kid's future…aside from the fact that hes a spoiled ass…he's obsessed w/American stuff, but if this kid continues to eat like an American fatass, he's gonna become diabetic before he even becomes a teen. The other day, after his huge dinner, he had 3 really buttery pastries on top of whatever garbage he ate immediately beforehand(, not to mention the ice cream popsicle and chocolate covered crackers he had before lunch, and the box of chocolate crackers and cake that he ate before we got back from the grocery store(. His mom tried to stop him, but couldn't pry his fat arms away from shielding them, so she gave up, so instead, I got to watch him sit in only his underwear on the stool in front of the tv and watch his fat rolls jiggle as he leaned forward to stuff his face with a pastry. Yes, I know I'm being harsh, but this kid can be a huge brat (both literally and figuratively).

Then, the yesterday, I witnessed a fat kid rampage, except it was like I was watching youtube or something because it was so surreal. Just before he was gonna go to bed, he wanted to eat 3 white chocolate covered chocolate wafers, and his mom was telling him no, you can't do that. Then, somehow, he forgot to eat them right then and put them on the table and asked me to play Chinese checkers with him (saddest game ever. His pieces were halfway across the board when I won.) During the game, I was trying to be sneaky and threw the cover of the box on top of the wafers (individually prepackaged) and slid them off the table and under it while he was busy packing the game up afterwards. I thought I was home clear...

Nope, I guess you can't distract a fat kid from eating his cake. Right after he packed it, he went to the kitchen and grabbed three from the box. I followed him and was telling him, "don't eat three, you'll eat them all too quickly. Just have one today.", as I was trying to take the other two from his hands like how you see the negotiators and cops take a gun out of a criminal's hand, except his pudgy hands were kung-fu gripping them and he was like AHHHH　不行！！！　(It'd be more approp if that was like size 48 font). So I had to rip it from him and somehow I got them all back and put them back in the box. I don't know if he stepped back in shock that somebody just snatched something from him, but now that I was standing in between him and the wafers, he just stared at me really angrily, silently marched off to his room and slammed the door. Really hard—I felt the walls shake.

Instinctively, I moved the box because it was too easy to access (it was where all the snacks are) and I figured if he didn't see if everytime he went to get a snack, he wouldn't eat 3 every time—out of sight, out of mind, right? Wrong again. Less than three minutes later, he stampeded out of his room like an elephant (b/c the floors were vibrating), went to kitchen, yanked out the drawer and started yelling "WHERE ARE THEY? WHERE ARE THEY?" and went around the whole apt and searched every drawer and under every pillow. His mom was like, "You can't not eat them?" NO!! (again, size 48 font). Stupid fatty thought I threw them away and was like PAY (me for the box. Technically, he was yelling compensation, but who yells that…)…as if it was his money that he had spent at the grocery store.

It was everything you'd expect a short-tempered fat kingly kid to do when you take away his cake that it was almost scripted. Too bad it wasn't acting.

From NYC to Podunk, Iowa?

As I left Beijing Tuesday night for Linyi to visit my Dad’s side of the family, I felt like I was leaving NYC to go to some random tiny little town in America that nobody’s ever heard of—literally. Everybody in China that I’ve told about Linyi doesn’t recognize it. (Pretty sure Podunk actually means random place in the middle of no where, or at least this is what I think a former teacher from the Iowa told me).

The entire process of getting here was no where near as horrible as Mary’s trip to a random village in Uganda where she had to squeeze on like 3 buses for hours and hours on a crappy dirt road, but packing (which im including as part of the process) was HORRIBLE because I bought ALL of China in just over 2 months time. Like literally, when I’d go anywhere that sold anything, if it wasn’t clothes and had seen it before, I probly already owned it. Fortunately for me and everybody else who I’m bringing stuff back for, I’m too big to fit into any clothes here, so I haven’t even bothered looking. Saves a lot of space, time and money (to buy crap for! Whooo!)

Anyways, typically, from what I remember (because apparently we flew last time and my uncle picked us up and we drove 3 hours to linyi? --which I don’t remember at all—literally nothing of the trip), I travel by train to Linyi, riding the train for 10 hours overnight and then waking up and arriving. This time, with all of China packed into 3 suitcases (not to mention that we mailed a filled box approx 18” x 18” x 36” to linyi), I decided to travel by train so that I wouldn’t have to be paranoid about someone stealing something from one of my huge three suitcases and have to worry about getting 3 huge suitcases off the train during the brief stop in linyi.

Despite having already shipped a huge box to linyi, packing was still a nightmare because for domestic flights in china, you’re allowed 20 kg total. You can check in as many bags as you want, as long as the total isn’t over 20 kg. Once you go over, you get fined a lottt, but my uncle said that if you go over by a little, it’s not a big deal b/c they prob wouldn’t fine you.

Monday evening (10 pm flight on Tuesday): my uncle weighed my suitcases (one of which wasn’t fully packed yet) and said one was 13 kg, and the other was about 8 kg.

Early afternoon on Tuesday: Finished packing, weighed my suitcases…first check in: approx 15 kg. second check-in: 15 kg…10 kg OVER.

Late afternoon Tuesday: Frantically undid at least half of the packing I did on Monday to try and make my check-in bags lighter by putting all the heavy stuff in my carry-on. After two-plus hours, the final weigh in was, 1^st check-in: 13 kg. 2^nd check-in: 14 kg….-_-. I gave up. I didn’t think I could make my carry-on and heavier. By our scale, my carry-on (which was a good amount smaller than both check-in suitcases) was 18 kg.

In my carry-on suitcase: 3 korean stone pots, each weighing prob 1.5 kilo, 1 2.5 inch thick roald dahl short stories book weighing another kilo, 1 huge bag of Beijing snacks for my mom, > 1 kilo), random notebooks—prob another kilo, my laptop, > 3 kilos -_-; One Kobe basketball shoe stuffed w/candy, again > 1 kilo. I have no idea what else weighed so much because it only totals to 12 kilos…THANKS MOM for making me almost throw out my back.

[Me: “Mom, check out this cool Korean pot I got today that we can use to make bibambap! It was only 28 RMB!”

Mom: What? You only got one?! How could you be so selfish? Go buy one for me and Victor!” (hahah but not my dad, we just know you too well.”)

…I had only got one because I knew it would be heavy and take up lots of space in my suitcases…if it comes down to it, do you want your stone pot or a pair of dancing shoes?]

Checking in at the airport: First suitcase: 14 kg. Airport check-in lady pretty much finishes checking me in and printing my tags for my bag when my uncle puts the 2^nd suitcase on the conveyor belt. Airport check-in lady (I’m pretty sure there’s a term for this person, but I’m too lazy to think of it now, so somebody please tell me): 啥？还有一个包？(Whaaaattt? Another bag?) Second bag: 17 kg!

11 kg over --> fine: $0. =DDD

I’m pretty sure the only reason why she didn’t say anything was because I had a US passport. Probly the only time in China that I’ll ever be able to take adv of being a foreigner since I look Chinese, but it couldn’t have come at a better time. Sigh, if only I looked like a foreigner…I wonder how many perks I could have gotten…

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Going through security

It was kind of weird not having to take off my shoes. I almost did it out of habit even after he told me (with a weird stare) that I didn’t need to. Then after I walked through the metal detector thing (I think my belt made it go off), I got scanned w/a metal detector very thoroughly. I think she covered my body 2-3 times over w/that detector…the way it was set up, it seemed like they scan everybody. After that, my suitcase got checked because of the metal thing that I bought victor from ikea-beijing. For some reason, the guy asked me if it was a tripod…

Finally on to Gate 42

Oh, somehow I forgot to mention that I was carrying a 20+ pound bag of dianxing (Beijing pastries) for my grandparents. I only remember now because after security, I remember opting to not put my stuff in the free little cart so I could get some “exercise” carrying this super heavy bag…not such a smart idea. Gate 42 was SOOO far away. My arm was starting to fall off and cramp up that I had to stop and switch arms/rest twice…THEN I had to go down the stairs with my suitcase and 20 lbs of pastries. I almost threw out my back.

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Waiting for Flight MU 2073

My flight was scheduled to board at 930 pm for a 10 pm takeoff. We didn’t start “boarding” until about 9:50 pm, and during that time, I found a chair (again, impossible to find b/c there are so many people) next to this Russian lady who was *GASP* going to Linyi for a business trip*GASP*!

During my last week of work, I interviewed a Russian lady who wanted to work the front desk for the hotel whose office my company used (free labor…). Afterwards, we had to wait to talk to some higher-ups (although im not actually sure I had to be there to wait haha), and me and the boss’ 12 year old kid talked to the lady for like an hour about Russian and Japanese (she spent 2 months there) life. (btw, the Japanese have some really sad sad lives). Anyways, so I spent a large part of the waiting time confirming all these facts about Russian life/learning more facts:

· Russians eat a lot of potatoes, usually mashed potatoes—what can you say? It’s usually cold. Russians eat super healthy. They use v. little oil (unlike China) and sauce for their potatoes/food in general. The typical meal has potatoes and vegetables, and little meat/meat if you’re rich.

· Russians like mayonnaise like Americans like ketchup…except probly a little more. For some reason, I wanna say that they add mayonnaise to their potatoes…I’m not sure about if that’s true, but I know that Russians put mayonnaise on their spaghetti…(?!?!?)although only a tablespoon…they’re not big on the sauce. Pretty much, they put mayonnaise on everything we put ketchup on and then anything else that they think needs some sauce…=0

· Moscow is super expensive to live in. The avg person in Moscow might make 50,000 rubles a month (29 rubles to a dollar), but they’d pay 25,000 rubles a month to live in a room w/a bathroom and kitchen—and by 1 room I mean, no common room. You walk in to the room w/the pull-out couch, and that is the bedroom/living/dining room all in one.

· Moscowians are mean and impatient. Just like new Yorkers, what else is new? Ask them for help w/directions and they’ll tell you “I don’t live in Moscow, I don’t know”

· Visit St. Petersburg if you ever plan on going to Russia, skip Moscow. Go to St. Petersburg for the atmosphere and make sure to get to the room of a building (even if it’s illegal) b/c the view and atmosphere are amazing. But make sure you visit in May or Sept when it’s not too cold.

· The Russian govt sucks at deal w/cold weather. Every year, they’re like oh, it’s winter time, it’s snowed, and yet they’ve failed to prepare for it and fail to properly clean the roads. (now they sound really incompetent)

· Want to make money? Bring a fan to Russia/sell AC/learn how to install AC. The smog/forest fire in Russia has made fans cost 3000 rubles (usually like 700 I think), and AC is 10,000 rubles at least IF you can even find a place that has AC to sell. Then you have to wait three weeks for the guy to install your AC and that’ll cost you another 700 (I’ve heard 3000, but maybe that’s w/o the 3 week wait) rubles. That’s the cheapest way to get AC.

Honestly, Russia has never been high up on my list of places to visit, and I’m not sure it’ll ever get up there.

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Finally, around 9:50 pm, they call our flight to “board”. I don’t know how I didn’t realize it earlier, but our terminal was on the ground level, so by board, they meant board the bus that will take you to the STAIRS (?! WTF?! If only I had had a wheelchair to make a scene about it…) UP to the plane…-_-. For the 2^nd time in an hour, I thought I was gonna throw out my back trying to lug (probly) 20 kilos w/my right hand up the stairs while lugging 10 more kilos up in my left hand.

I don’t remember anything about the last domestic flight I was on in China (I feel like this is the first time, but somehow I doubt it…), but the guy next to me told me that some airlines gave out asian snacks on the flights, so I was really excited...i got a bottle of water. -_-. And I thought US airlines were cutting back because of the recession…

When I walked of the stairs and walked across the runway to the Linyi baggage claim room, I knew I wasn’t in Beijing anymore just by glancing around and seeing in the dimly lit room 1. Their bathrooms (from afar, of course) and 2. This sign for first aid:

HAHAHA I just looked it up…Linyi is 2400 years old and has 10 million people, but I’m not sure how many people live where the city is (instead of the outer edges). So you can compare, Beijing has 22 million.

Yea, yea, I know some of you are probly thinkin that I need to stop drinking the hatorade. I’m just stating facts tho. Last time I came in 2008, Linyi JUST got their first Mcdonald’s.

No Fun Day

The govt strikes again. As declared by the Chinese govt, today was a day for mourning for the flood victims, which I had heard about thanks to my NPR news podcast. I thought nothing of it, even when my aunt complained this morning about nothing to watch on TV. I thought it meant that the shows at 10 AM were just bad.

Nope, a day of mourning in China means no entertainment allowed.

Fortunately, I was out all day shopping for the two more heavy, limited suitcase space-eating black Korean stone pots and other useless stuff that my mom told me to buy before I left Beijing so I wasn’t affected by the worse than usual options for TV. On channels [0-8, 10-95) (<--non-inclusive bracket…), you had the the option(s) of the news. Pretty much one pick, so why the “options”? Because you can pick your favorite number (CCTV 8 probly had the highest ratings) and watch the news of there! And by news, I think it was largely just a continual broadcast of the flooding (just like it was of Katrina and 9/11 on every news channel, except this was on every channel, except CCTV 9 (channel 9) because CCTV 9 is for foreigners and has the news in English, so they tell a little more than just the flooding. Surprisingly, on one channel, it was like MTV before they stopped being MTV, but I couldn’t understand a word of the music videos (which weren’t in Chinese and I don’t think they were in English either). The other non news channel seemed so boring that I’d have much rather watched the news.

My uncle took us out to eat at this really good hot pot place today, partially because he had also wanted to take me to check out the arcade next to it afterwards…but it was closed. So was the movie theater next to it…(I didn’t realize how weird it was that they were both closed until after I got home and my aunt showed me that there was only one thing on 90+ channels).

And of course, when the govt here says none, they mean it. Even the scheduled entertainment for the Expo was canceled.

I could have had abs nothing to do tonight, but fortunately, the gym was open. I guess the govt doesn’t consider the gym to be fun…which isn’t exactly surprising. I mean, it’s China…and besides can you imagine this guy exercising?

Alas, since I went to the gym today, I’ll never know if the soccer/basketball fields at the nearby universities were open today.

Random realizations

Since this is my last week of work, the fact that I only have 3 more days of work, and then 6 more days after that in Beijing before going to Shandong to see my dad's side of the family for 10 days, I just realized that I'm going to be going home really quite soon.

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Went to METRO today, which is like the equiv of sam's club, but only in the sense that you can buy things in bulk and that they sold everything (altho way more options), because none of their things in bulk were actually cheaper...the hot and sour soup 3-pack i found was actually more expensive than buy 3 individually from the super market near our home...

This pseudo-Sams club also sold clothes of course, and even though I've pretty much given up on looking for clothes here, I was gonna buy one of those "oversized" Chinese sleeping shirts because it looked pretty big...then I decided to try it on the L size...well it was close, but good thing I tried it on because now I can go waste that 40 yuan on something else. Anyways, this made me wonder, where do the fat women in china buy their clothes? I mean I know in America they have the plus sized stores, but it's not exactly the same here...I think I saw an attempt at one a couple weeks ago in this huge mall (the first that I've seen of the many malls I've been to)...the store was called "Five Plus"...SIZE 5?! Maybe this explains why most of the fat women that I see on the subway are wearing overly tight tops...

Seriously, this sounds like another great business opportunity...I really should stop making these get rich ideas public. But at least youll know that 5 years from now, when there are stores all over China called "Western(s)ized", I thought of it first.

Three more days

Only 3 more days of work and then...FREEEDOOMMMMMM

The only problem is that my boss wants to fire me...

There's a lot more background and this isn't an exact quote, but the background is not entirely necessary and this is a short and pretty accurate of what he said today during our 45 min phone call "check in". "i don't feel like you have a sense of urgency...maybe i just don't know you well enough but i get the feeling that you're not one of those people who jumps up and down with joy"...WHAATTT. At what point would I ever get really excited at work? I'm staring at a computer screen all day, and barely get to talk to anybody. What's there to look excited about? WHOOO GREAT PHONE SCREEN! OMG LOOK AT THIS RESUME! CHEA.

At least I know in the future to always put on my "focused with the most important work of my life" face. Never let your guard down. Only the paranoid survive.

...and then, "it doesnt matter now b/c it's a no cost learning experience, but missing deadlines of this magnitude could be a serious setback to your future career".

Pretty sure that this type of job is not for me because all I thought was, "whoops...the only reason i'm reacting at all to this comment is b/c it wasn't my fault, you should have been clearer on what you expected instead of just saying that you'll be 'checking in' on Friday".

This is gonna be the longest three days ever. And thank YOU, tricia, for confirming this, all the better.

When it rains, it pours. (China vs. US, Part II: the Weather)

At least in Beijing that is.

I think my least favorite weather condition is rain. By far. Not even close. (unless, does humidity count? I kind of clump them together. I just hate wetness). Anyway, the only reason why it’s kind of tolerable when I’m at school is because I have rain boots and a huge 68” diameter umbrella. This combo keeps me pretty dry, except for when there’s huge wind.

In Beijing, I have neither. I have no rainboots and just like the people, clothes, portions, etc, everything in Beijing is smaller. The umbrella barely covers my backpack, but no worries, my backpack comes with a rainfly! I really wouldn’t have a problem with the rain here except for the fact that the sewer system sucks (I seriously never thought I’d say something like, I really appreciate the amazing sewer/draining system in the US and really miss it) and the roads/sidewalks are still insanely dirty. Like literally, there is dirt everywhere.


Water + dirt = nasty nasty mud. Rain + Beijing = nasty mud ponds.
(potential business opportunity? Put a tub in Beijing and wait for it to rain…voila! Free dirt, free water, all profit mud bath! (minus the cost of the tub))

The rain bothers me the most on the way home from work, on my walk to the subway. Even if it’s not raining on my walk to the subway, if it’s rained a lot during the day (or the day before), these are your own options for getting up/down the stairs
to the subway:
To get to the subway from work...

and the other side of the stairs, to catch the bus to work...

When it comes to the weather, home wins easily. AND this isn’t even considering the horrible pollution here…I’ve been here for almost 2 months, and I think I’ve seen at most 6 days of blue sky (although this is a major improvement from the 1 per 3 weeks avg from every other trip here and the past two days have been GORGEOUS. like on the level of Chapel Hill in Sept before global warming/San Fran in Sept). The sky is cloudy (or is it hazy? I really can’t tell.) all the time and impossible to tell by looking at the sky if it’s going to rain or not. I guess this is why the meteorologists here are absolutely horrible. They’re worse than the meteorologists back home at predicting when it’s going to snow…predictions from the Beijing meteorologists: 1. “there’s going to be a huggee thunderstorm tonight and it’s going to pour tomorrow too”…or 2. “there will be rain all weekend”. I’ve been better at predicting if it’s gonna rain for not.

1. At 8 pm that night, there was a news flash (a bar thing that went across the TV screen), “there will be no storm tonight”…in fact It didn’t even rain.
2. I think there were a few droplets of water that lasted maybe 10 min on Sunday night. -_-.

What I don’t understand is why my aunt and uncle still make sure to watch the weather report every night.

The super short life of a laptop battery

My old laptop (now deceased) had a battery life of about 2 minutes when it was fully charged, (and my charger was like a cripple. Actually, cripplemight even be too nice, in coma might be a better way to describe my charger…it would only charger if the cord was resting at a certain angle; move it and it died.) 2 minutes may sound horrible, but let me tell you, 2 minutes is a plenty of time to pick up your laptop and charger and find another outlet. Plus you have one less worry than those with battery lives of 2-3 hours…you never had to worry (like I do now), "OH CRAP 5% battery life left! AHHH gotta find a plug in before my computer shuts down on me!"

Anyways, ever since my laptop died and I got a new one, my favorite part has been the convenience of super long battery life…like how I can watch a movie without having to sit next to an outlet w/my super short cord. In other words, I'm obsessed with keeping my battery life as high as possible for as long as possible.

I've done tons of research on whether you should keep your laptop plugged in after the battery's fully charged, when should you charge it, the number of charge cycles, etc. And, so I've been charging my battery til it's full (not 99%, but til it says fully charged—I think it makes a huge diff) and removing my charger to let it drain all the way to 5-10% before I charge it again—and never charging it from like 48% (which I used to do b/c it'd be at like 50% and I'd need/want to go somewhere and use it for a long time). So far, so good…except that I read online that most batteries should last for about 300 charge cycles before they start slowly dying on you…considering the amount of time that Princeton and this internship have required me to spend on my laptop, I'm pretty sure I'm quite close to 300, if not already way beyond it, and it's only been 6 months or so. -_-

BUT here's the good news! Yesterday, my aunt left her laptop on the bed after she finished watching Sherlock holmes (awesome movie btw) and I picked it up and noticed that there was a huge gap in the back of her laptop…apparently, whenever she can plug in her laptop, she just plugs it in and removes the battery so it's not continually charging. Ahh, I cant believe I never knew about this! I love love love this idea so much hahah b/c

1. I'm not reducing the number of recharge cycles on my battery
   
2. I'm not killing my battery by having it plugged in after it's fully charged!
   
3. I feel like my laptop just had liposuction. Thinner (although not exactly proportional haha) and at least 2 lbs lighter!
   
4. Also like an obese person becoming skinny, less heat. I can put my laptop on my legs without the battery burning off my skin!

I just realized that this is probly a bad idea for mac users b/c the charger plug comes out so easily. Muwahahah enjoy your heavy $1200 laptops. =p

It's kind of weird seeing an X and a "battery not detected" message where your battery symbol is on the start bar…I feel like there's something I'm not considering b/c I've never seen anyone in the US do this before…but then again I feel like this is such a Chinese thing to do haha.